Viola goes on to say, “The demands of the pastorate are crushing; they will drain any mortal dry. Imagine for a moment that you were working for a company that paid you on the basis of how good you made your people feel. What if your pay depended on how entertaining you were, how friendly you were, how popular your wife and children were, how well dressed you were and how perfect you behaviour was?
“Can you imagine the unmitigated stress this would cause you? Can you see how much pressure would force you in to playing a pretentious role – all to keep your authority, your prestige and your job security?... This is one of the major reasons why pastors live very artificial lives.
“In this regard, the pastoral role fosters dishonesty. Congregations expect their pastor to always be cheerful, completely spiritual, and available at a moments call... Many pastors take to this role like actors in a Greek drama.”
How do I stop the pastorate from sucking? How do I stop the pastorate from sucking the life out of me and the family?
1)I got to prayerfully and biblical allow my vision of God to set the agenda.
2)I need to die my need of people affirmation.
3)I got to rediscover my call to husbandhood and parenthood and be a model of this to my church.
4)I got to realise that no matter how hard I work to win people over to me, when I go their biggest concern will be, “I wonder who we will be getting next?”
5)Just enjoy it. Enjoy God. Enjoy the people. It's all good, because grace is everywhere.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Being a Pastor Sucks!!! (Part 1)
There is something good about being a pastor and I'm glad that this is the work that I do, but over the past few years I have witnessed in my own life and the life of others that it has a dark side. Like Manasseh I will construct in the temple of the LORD alters by which I will sacrifice my wife,children and everyone that I love upon (2 Chron 33:4-6). Pastoral ministry has the tendency that if it is not attended to well can become a monster that will swallow up everything that comes into it's parameter's.
Frank Viola, who is not a fan of the Pastor, but a voice that I need to keep listening to, gives these statistics. They are American but I think that they may also be a reflection of what is happening this side of the pond.
94 % feel pressure to have an ideal family.
90% work more than 46 hrs a week.
81% say they have insufficient time with their spouses.
80% believe that pastoral ministry affects their family negatively.
70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
70% percent have lower self-esteem than when they entered the ministry.
50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
80% are discouraged or deal with depression.
More than 40% report that they are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules and unrealistic expectations.
33% consider pastoral ministry an outright hazard to family.
33% have seriously considered leaving their position in the past year.
40% of pastoral resignations are due to burn out.
Frank Viola, who is not a fan of the Pastor, but a voice that I need to keep listening to, gives these statistics. They are American but I think that they may also be a reflection of what is happening this side of the pond.
94 % feel pressure to have an ideal family.
90% work more than 46 hrs a week.
81% say they have insufficient time with their spouses.
80% believe that pastoral ministry affects their family negatively.
70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
70% percent have lower self-esteem than when they entered the ministry.
50% feel unable to meet the demands of the job.
80% are discouraged or deal with depression.
More than 40% report that they are suffering from burnout, frantic schedules and unrealistic expectations.
33% consider pastoral ministry an outright hazard to family.
33% have seriously considered leaving their position in the past year.
40% of pastoral resignations are due to burn out.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Performing for people or Encountering God
I'm currently doing a course on leadership called Arrow and as part of the preparation for the first residential in November I have a few books that need to be read. The first book I had to read was 'Renovation of the Heart' by Dallas Willard. I'm nearly finished the book but I would like to share a passage that I've just read that relates to what really should be happening when church comes together.
"The element of performance should be absent in the church, as should the constant worry over 'how the service went'. God is the primary agent in the gathering, and the truth is that only he knows how the service went; and it cannot be judged by reading the responses of the congregation... Those who minister should, with time and experience, expect to receive profundity of insight, sweetness and strength of character, and abundance of power to carry out their role. Ministers do not need tricks and techniques, but need only speak Christ's word from Christ's character, standing within the manifest presence of God. It is a matter of character, not momentary inspiration.
"The congregation, too, needs to elimate performance. We are not coming to be enterained; we are not checking the performance of the leaders. We are coming to encounter God. We expect to find Christ in others and that is all we are looking for. We don't worship worship or a fine service or impeccable teaching or fine-looking people. Far too often we approach worship prepared to major on minors. Why look at some aspect of performance when you could look at Jesus."
"The element of performance should be absent in the church, as should the constant worry over 'how the service went'. God is the primary agent in the gathering, and the truth is that only he knows how the service went; and it cannot be judged by reading the responses of the congregation... Those who minister should, with time and experience, expect to receive profundity of insight, sweetness and strength of character, and abundance of power to carry out their role. Ministers do not need tricks and techniques, but need only speak Christ's word from Christ's character, standing within the manifest presence of God. It is a matter of character, not momentary inspiration.
"The congregation, too, needs to elimate performance. We are not coming to be enterained; we are not checking the performance of the leaders. We are coming to encounter God. We expect to find Christ in others and that is all we are looking for. We don't worship worship or a fine service or impeccable teaching or fine-looking people. Far too often we approach worship prepared to major on minors. Why look at some aspect of performance when you could look at Jesus."
Friday, October 2, 2009
The Pastor & Hospitality
I recently had a conversation with a English couple who have recently started to attend our get together on Sunday in Glastry. The husband told me that he believed the purpose of Church was three-fold. 1) Worship (I'm not going to argue about that). 2) Witness (Nor that) 3) Hospitality (As dumb as it sounds, I never though about that). He went on to say that he was not just talking about inviting people to have coffee after they have their gig, but hospitality begins at the top, with the Pastor who is prepare to warmly welcome people to gather around and listen, just as Jesus welcomed disciples and the crowds to himself.
I think my friend was right.
Some Pastors think that because they are standing in the front or have their name on the notice board, or because they wear an out of date/ out style flock that they deserve to be listen to. Not so! I think that we need to engage people with the spirit of hospitality.
How then can we become more hospitable when we address people?
1)Smile. Even if you don't want to smile at least pretend. It might even become more natural after a few years.
2)Make eye contact. Some I have seen and heard engage with the carpet in between them and the first pew. We are preaching to people not the floor.
3)Relax. You are meeting with family...brothers and sisters. It is not a civic function.
4)Don't be taking yourself or your role too seriously. The people you are listening to aren't. Most may even turn off after 10mins.
5)Be friendly to people before and after the service. Why do you need to stay locked away from people in prayer before the worship...YOU SHOULD DO IT BEFORE! Talk about stuff that they want to talk about, the glorious stuff of small talk. You may think that small talk is above you, but most people have given you the kindness of their ears for the last hour. Now it's your turn to listen.
6)Don't be having any meetings after the worship, just have coffee and chill.
I think my friend was right.
Some Pastors think that because they are standing in the front or have their name on the notice board, or because they wear an out of date/ out style flock that they deserve to be listen to. Not so! I think that we need to engage people with the spirit of hospitality.
How then can we become more hospitable when we address people?
1)Smile. Even if you don't want to smile at least pretend. It might even become more natural after a few years.
2)Make eye contact. Some I have seen and heard engage with the carpet in between them and the first pew. We are preaching to people not the floor.
3)Relax. You are meeting with family...brothers and sisters. It is not a civic function.
4)Don't be taking yourself or your role too seriously. The people you are listening to aren't. Most may even turn off after 10mins.
5)Be friendly to people before and after the service. Why do you need to stay locked away from people in prayer before the worship...YOU SHOULD DO IT BEFORE! Talk about stuff that they want to talk about, the glorious stuff of small talk. You may think that small talk is above you, but most people have given you the kindness of their ears for the last hour. Now it's your turn to listen.
6)Don't be having any meetings after the worship, just have coffee and chill.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
A Rare Person
RT Kendall writes,
"The twin sins of self-righteousness and self-pity so readily lift their ugly heads in us. For example, it is a rare person who can be an intercessor in prayer and not boast about it. It is a rare person who can pray for a leader and then refrain from giving advice. It is a rare person who can be greatly used by God today and quietly willing to watch God use another tomorrow. It is a rare person who can see God answer prayer on one item and not question because he doesn't answer other prayers. It is a rare person who can enjoy sweet intimacy with Jesus today and not feel sad when he doesn't manifest his presence tomorrow."
"The twin sins of self-righteousness and self-pity so readily lift their ugly heads in us. For example, it is a rare person who can be an intercessor in prayer and not boast about it. It is a rare person who can pray for a leader and then refrain from giving advice. It is a rare person who can be greatly used by God today and quietly willing to watch God use another tomorrow. It is a rare person who can see God answer prayer on one item and not question because he doesn't answer other prayers. It is a rare person who can enjoy sweet intimacy with Jesus today and not feel sad when he doesn't manifest his presence tomorrow."
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The Anointing
Sometimes when I was a student training for the ordained ministry I would hear the complaint that our training was far too inadequate for ministering in the church today. Now, I recognise that there was much that I didn't learn at Edgehill that I could have learnt, but I'm thankful for what I did learn and the tools that they gave to me to go and learn on the job as well. I'm also thankful for the other people that God placed in my life at that time. One particular person was Greg Alexander, whom I did a placement with during my first year.
Greg taught be so much about the Spirit during those months, but what stuck in my mind the most from those chats over coffee in Tesco, was the conversations about the anointing over the Holy Spirit. Greg challenged me that no matter how much presence a person can have when they are in the pulpit, no matter how skilfully a sermon is put together and no matter how effective the illustrations are, it will all mean nothing without the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
This was a lightening bolt at that time and has caused me to reflect much about the anointing of the Holy Spirit in my ministry. Two books that I've found helpful are, “The Anointing” and “The Sensitivity of the Spirit”, both books are by RT Kendall. “The Sensitivity of the Spirit” may actually be one of the most frightening books that I've read. The blurb at the back reads,
“It is so easy for us to imagine we are living in the immediate power of the Holy Spirit, especially if our lives are comfortable and going just as we would wish them to. But the Holy Spirit, like a turtle dove, has an unpredictable sensitive nature. He will follow his own path and, if we are not prepared to go with him, will move on without us. In the meantime, we may be at home with an imitation.”
The though that I could be going through my minister comfortably without the anointing of the Spirit is horrifying and yet can't I recognise how many times with sin in my heart I have stood before my church hoping to mustered an enough smiles and conviction to pull Sunday off. RT Kendall writes in “The Sensitivity of the Spirit”,
“There have been servants of Christ – some with high profile – who apparently felt no loss of anointing at the time when they compromised themselves. Since they were used so powerfully – which they often took as proof of God's approval and of the anointing – they sometimes felt nothing when they gave into sexual sin.”
Being used powerfully by God is no proof of his anointing upon your life. I once remember speaking to a former pastor who left his ministry after having an affair, he said “While I was having the affair I had never preached so well”. Maybe, whenever we realize that the anointing has left us that we have to work that much harder. In disguising our weakness we want to appear strong, but is it not when we recognise our weakness that is when we are strong (2Cor 12:10).
Greg taught be so much about the Spirit during those months, but what stuck in my mind the most from those chats over coffee in Tesco, was the conversations about the anointing over the Holy Spirit. Greg challenged me that no matter how much presence a person can have when they are in the pulpit, no matter how skilfully a sermon is put together and no matter how effective the illustrations are, it will all mean nothing without the anointing of the Holy Spirit.
This was a lightening bolt at that time and has caused me to reflect much about the anointing of the Holy Spirit in my ministry. Two books that I've found helpful are, “The Anointing” and “The Sensitivity of the Spirit”, both books are by RT Kendall. “The Sensitivity of the Spirit” may actually be one of the most frightening books that I've read. The blurb at the back reads,
“It is so easy for us to imagine we are living in the immediate power of the Holy Spirit, especially if our lives are comfortable and going just as we would wish them to. But the Holy Spirit, like a turtle dove, has an unpredictable sensitive nature. He will follow his own path and, if we are not prepared to go with him, will move on without us. In the meantime, we may be at home with an imitation.”
The though that I could be going through my minister comfortably without the anointing of the Spirit is horrifying and yet can't I recognise how many times with sin in my heart I have stood before my church hoping to mustered an enough smiles and conviction to pull Sunday off. RT Kendall writes in “The Sensitivity of the Spirit”,
“There have been servants of Christ – some with high profile – who apparently felt no loss of anointing at the time when they compromised themselves. Since they were used so powerfully – which they often took as proof of God's approval and of the anointing – they sometimes felt nothing when they gave into sexual sin.”
Being used powerfully by God is no proof of his anointing upon your life. I once remember speaking to a former pastor who left his ministry after having an affair, he said “While I was having the affair I had never preached so well”. Maybe, whenever we realize that the anointing has left us that we have to work that much harder. In disguising our weakness we want to appear strong, but is it not when we recognise our weakness that is when we are strong (2Cor 12:10).
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Some Day They Might Just Kill Me.
On Sunday evening I was ordained as a minister of the Methodist Church in Ireland. The service was an interesting event where I was paraded into the Church (Along with David Turtle). There was a selection special readings, prayers, sermon, laying hands on my head (I was praying that my wax was now dry) and a good old celebration of holy communion. The hi-light of the night was when David fell going up the steps and banged his head coming down the steps. I will slag him about this deep into the agedness of eternity...I really will.
But it was the moment after The Declaration that has given me the most to ponder. The President declared the following words:
“Be shepherds of the flock.
As you exercise mercy, do not forget justice;
as you minister discipline, do not forget mercy;
that when Christ the chief Shepherd comes in glory
he may count you among his faithful servants.”
The the congregation shouts:
“To God be the glory for ever. Amen”
This is followed by a rapturous applause which was a very affirming experience, in fact one of the most affirming experiences I've known. (I felt a little bit like Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope.)
Later when I though about this I really believed that Jesus reminded me of his entry into Jerusalem, they sang for him and welcomed him, but within a week the praise was replaced with persecution. Is my journey to reflect his.
Yesterday they applauded me. Tomorrow they may clinch their fists before me.
Yesterday they affirmed me. Tomorrow they may accuse me.
Yesterday they give gifts. Tomorrow they may strip of everything.
Yesterday they gave be a Bible. Tomorrow they may write my name in the book called, “Ceased To Be Recognise As Ministers Amongst Us”.
But it was the moment after The Declaration that has given me the most to ponder. The President declared the following words:
“Be shepherds of the flock.
As you exercise mercy, do not forget justice;
as you minister discipline, do not forget mercy;
that when Christ the chief Shepherd comes in glory
he may count you among his faithful servants.”
The the congregation shouts:
“To God be the glory for ever. Amen”
This is followed by a rapturous applause which was a very affirming experience, in fact one of the most affirming experiences I've known. (I felt a little bit like Luke Skywalker at the end of Star Wars: A New Hope.)
Later when I though about this I really believed that Jesus reminded me of his entry into Jerusalem, they sang for him and welcomed him, but within a week the praise was replaced with persecution. Is my journey to reflect his.
Yesterday they applauded me. Tomorrow they may clinch their fists before me.
Yesterday they affirmed me. Tomorrow they may accuse me.
Yesterday they give gifts. Tomorrow they may strip of everything.
Yesterday they gave be a Bible. Tomorrow they may write my name in the book called, “Ceased To Be Recognise As Ministers Amongst Us”.
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